Clinical Discoveries from a Postmodernist Approach 

The result of Korean Han transformation treatment is compared with the clinical changes in family relationship meanings, parent coercive (child aversive) behavior, and dialogic speech development from a postmodernist approach.

Change in Family Relationships Meanings Theme A: Entangled Relations (“Han”)

First, in the theme of entangled relationships, the “unparented relation domain” is profound. Without a doubt, this domain ignited the fire of devastating past memories in Mrs. Kim’s deepest heart. This domain’s relevance unfolded by addressing the topic of painful experiences in relation to her family of origin, parents, particularly her mother-in-law, and her second child. From the very beginning of the first session, Mrs. Kim presented with her childhood suffering due to her deprived economic/social situation. Due to the consequences of severe poverty, she and her parents were in a circle of non-caring and non-nutritive relationship. It became the recurring theme significant to Mrs. Kim’s life stories as a core element of family experiences throughout the therapy. A lack of caring and nurturing from her parents resulted in her becoming insecure in her personal environment. Mrs. Kim grew up in a family with little parental guidance or caring. She had a serious need for support and nurturing, which remained unfulfilled. She was abhorrent to her father from a very young age. Her eyes were filled with so many tears that she could hardly see the therapist. She decided to get married pursuing a risky challenge, but the marriage deteriorated.

Next, dishonored family relations began to evolve around her feeling of betrayal and disloyalty from her husband and in-laws. From the beginning of the relationships (through an arranged marriage), she felt this way. She married to fulfill her material need, not for affection or love. This unspoken, unsaid dishonor was happening in the beginning of the family relationship. Particularly, a difficult married life for Mrs. Kim has significant meaning of family relationships. It’s called ‘Si-jib-sal-yi.’ ‘Si-jib-sal-yi’ is a traditional Korean word to refer to married life in the house of the husband’s parents. This word implies the tough married life that new in-laws force upon the in-coming daughter-in-law, in particular, a first daughter-in-law as the first son’s wife in the extended family. Mrs. Kim spoke her heart by session 6. Her relationship with her mother-in-law was a main area of concern. She considered her mother-in-law’s “shimjung” insincerity; her words saying or apologies were considered a “pinggae” (an excuse). The interpersonal relationship was strained by this. In general, “shimjung” episodes attempted to affirm the feelings of oneness and “woori” (we-ness). In traditional Korean culture, a daughter-in-law’s challenge to the mother-in-law was considered as one of the seven grounds for divorce (“chil-ke-ji-ak”), and that could evoke disgrace of family honor. For Mrs. Kim, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law characterized the oppressive family relationships meanings. The major reasons for the conflict were the issues associated with authority and self-respect, childbearing, and religion. The conflict evolved from the difference between the mother-in-law’s hierarchical, traditional values and the daughter-in-law’s democratic, modern values.

In Korean culture, the kinship relation is the primary and imperative principle of social order. The kinship relation determines individual status and corresponding behavior. In particular, within the family kinship, only kinship relation determines individual status. In the family, adult men, who are the oldest and have a higher degree of kinship status, occupy the highest position. The mother-in-law has a higher position than a daughter-in-law, who is younger and has a lower degree of kinship status in the family. Hierarchy is not an equal structure, but an inequitable one, and those who have higher status, have more power and authority. When society is organized by hierarchical order associated with sex-age role distinction, individual behavior is centered on vertical relations. Then, the relationships between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is considered more important than the relationships between husband and wife. “Mate selection and direction and/or supervision of offspring behavior are all parental rights. So, the mother-in-law plays a very important role in caring for the family. The mother-in-law decides the date when the couple may engage in sexual activity in order to conceive a child. It is not just a matter between the married couple” (Choi, Kang, Ko, & Cho, 1992, p. 699). Another critical principle of kinship relations is solidarity. This principle characterizes linage of the family line in Korean culture. In a kinship group, as adult women, mothers-in-law have the primary responsibility to care about significant family affairs such as childbirth. For Mrs. Kim, a dishonored relationship between parent and child affected the issues pertaining to daily life and schoolwork for the children, especially that of the second-born daughter. In particular, a zeal for higher education was reflected in her schoolwork.

Table 4: Quality of Change in Mother’s Family Relationships Meanings

Lastly, the domain of violent relationships manifested in Mrs. Kim’s asymmetrical power dynamics to her husband and parents-in-law. Specifically, this problem happened to Mrs. Kim in the very beginning of her married life with her parents-in-laws. Family privacy is highly valued in Asian culture. It is considered inappropriate to discuss family matters outside the family; to do so brings shame to the family (Green, 1999; Harper & Lantz, 1996; Locke, 1992; Wilson, 1997). Therefore, Asian battered women may be reluctant to speak if they are being abused. They also learn to hide their emotions. They are not supposed to show pain or anger, because they will be seen as being immature. As a result, these women will seldom express their true feelings or emotions. Asian women are expected to take the blame for a bad family relationship. “Assuming responsibility for the problem is considered virtuous, and readiness for self-blame is particularly valued in women” (Wilson, 1997, p. 108). The culture necessitates perseverance and acceptance of suffering. Women are expected to have such virtues.

As for the parent-child relationship, Mrs. Kim’s parenting decisions were upon fear of punishment that was coined within the Korean child-rearing practice and was relatively strict for small children. In this situation, she and their children lived in a home where actions spoke louder than words. It was standard practice for children to be controlled with violence (This will be addressed in detail in the following section of parental coercive behavior change.).

In this couple’s emotionally violent relationships, she used the analogy of the woodcutter and the fairy story which is an indigenous Korean fairy tale. She told the therapist that looking back at staying in a violent relationships was rather as if she became a woman who encounters a “fairy” who wants to leave her husband to return to the heaven where she is from, but she couldn’t leave, because of the feather she lost in a wood while taking a bath with her friends in the pond at the forest. She pointed out her feelings were hurt; she felt betrayed and stuck in a trap. In Korean culture, in order to figure out another person’s “shimjung,” “Nun-chi” is a necessary social skill that allows individuals to engage in smooth social interactions. Therefore, when a person is unable to read another person’s “shimjung” (lack of “nun-chi”), one is not able to behave appropriately, to predict the future of another, and will often make a mistake (Choi, 1994). At this point, Mrs. Kim stated she felt distrustful and was stock was in a cycle of abuse with her husband.

Theme B: Multicultural Relations

The theme of multicultural relations is another important key to understanding family relationships meanings in Korean immigrant family life. It is divided into three domains: (1) collective help with self-help relations, (2) authoritarian/hierarchical status with equal/achieved status relations, and (3) advantaged with disadvantaged parental relations. Maintaining a commitment to a family relationship expresses a highly valued cultural norm chosen from among infinite possibilities. Family relationships are not limited by geographic space and extends multi-dimensionally. These possibilities unfold within the context of the person’s family life situation and are often synthesized with a continuing commitment to the family of origin as multiple patterns of life unfolds. When Korean families migrate to the United States, they experience the impact of being Korean and living in another country. They live within two cultures simultaneously. The family language system involves the cultural milieu of the place in which the client family identifies. Established cultural norms and values play an important role in dictating acceptable and unacceptable family relationships.

First, as an example of the domain of a collective/self-help relations, Mrs. Kim blended the help from her extended family with an independent endeavor. Particularly, financial support and childcare are typically provided in Korean families. She had to make a living while dealing with disharmony in her marriage. It was natural for Mrs. Kim, a first daughter-in-law and a first immigrant, to seek help and be given help from the immediate extended family members, such as her mother and her in-laws. They helped her and supported alternative resources as well. But this is based on solidarity and reciprocity principles in the family caring behavior. In particular, as a first daughter-in-law, she played a significant role of “Hyo-boo” in relationship to the parents-in-law. “Hyo-boo” is a married woman who fulfills filial piety, or filial duty, as a daughter-in-law for the welfare or benefit of parents-in-law.

Next, in regard to authoritative/hierarchical with equal/achieved relations, Mrs. Kim first encountered age and gender distinctions in the family relationships including in-law’s relation, couple relation, and parental relation, as well as family of origin. As the eldest daughter, she had to take care of her siblings while her mother worked and her father left the family. She committed herself to helping her mother with the operation of the household after graduating from high school at the age of 17. She then supported the education of her siblings. A recurrent theme in her life was her intense conflict between the “traditional homemaker” role and the “internal anti-traditional” role. She struggled with being “everything to everybody” while seeking to meet her own needs. She spoke of excitement and joy and challenge and accomplishment, but she was constantly plagued by exhaustion, worries about her children, exasperation with her spouse, who failed to do his fair share of helping with household/business responsibilities, and raising their children.

Furthermore, as a Korean-American woman, Mrs. Kim lived for many years with an unconscious self-image in traditional women who have suffered under an oppressive cultural system. She lived with a feeling of being caught between two cultures. She felt she should follow the traditional expectations on one hand, and the newly acquired Westernized modes, on the other. She felt she should assert her individual rights and those of her children and, at the same time, restrain her own desires. Eastern culture demands modesty, obedience, conformity, obligation, and traditional family relationships; while Western culture encourages individualism, assertiveness, materialism, and personal achievement (Lee, 1989).

Eventually, she seemed to succeed in balancing important value systems for herself by becoming an independent individual, at the same time maintaining warm relationships with family members. She was known to be tolerant of diverse cultural elements. She showed much strength and made many contributions to the family business and her family life. Over the therapy sessions, expectations for the various roles in the family began to shift from those of the traditional male-oriented family to the present, allowing access to economic power by Mrs. Kim. Gender-role and parent-child relations were becoming increasingly egalitarian and democratic. The traditional extended-kin-family relation though now rare, still the parents were maintaining relationships with the parents-in-law as adult children. At session 6, she became more interdependent, mutual, and sought to exist on more equal terms with her husband. Thus, Mrs. Kim, who actively sought to have a traditional family-centered life, began to seek establishing a more modern lifestyle. It is safe to conclude that a traditional Korean marriage will no longer be viable in her family culture while living in the United States.

Lastly, the children’s education is a major concern in a Korean immigrant’s family. The wife takes the major role in raising the children in a bilingual world. Normally, they struggled with the children but also tried to help them. For the Korean American children, there exist more exposure to the external English-speaking world. The mother gradually realizes that she is not able to be the main learning resource for her children. She experiences the cultural, value, educational, and language-usage differences with her children. Oftentimes, the children do not know the Korean language well, and the mother doesn’t know English well enough to assist her children in completing homework and gaining better grades. As a first-generation Korean immigrant woman, Mrs. Kim felt left out of the family situation, neither able to communicate with her children on a satisfactory level, nor able to help them with their homework, due to the language and cultural differences. She may have experienced the loss of cultural pride, identity, social marginality, and subtly, yet painfully, discrimination and invisibility in the U.S. society. She had a hard time transmitting what she had learned from her own country to her own children. Mrs. Kim, who completed her education in Korea, experienced frustration with her children, specifically the second child, who had started first grade. Mrs. Kim needed more educational help for her second daughter in her studies than the first child, who was in the seventh grade.

From awareness of the educational disadvantages for her children in America while living in a prosperous Chicago suburban area with a desirable school district, Mrs. Kim was able to realistically assess her social and existential marginality in the United States. This realization led to her collective efforts to change the situation, by becoming more of an active school participant, finding other parents to cooperate for encouraging positive school system changes, developing ethnic consciousness among Korean-American parents, and promoting Korean awareness among American school administrators and staff.

As the family faced their language barriers in the school system and local community, along with starting a new family business, they experienced difficulties adapting to this new situation that demanded more family conversation, time, and energy. The Kim family immediately experienced the magnitude of being a Korean immigrant family living in another country. Alternation of the family-environment relationship was considered, and Mrs. Kim gained more power and control over important areas of her life, such as her children’s education. The family’s struggle for better access to a positive educational system for the children, was creating changes in the family. The present position of parents, children, and family reflected improvements in the fairly ethnocentric community, but they were, in some respects, still disadvantaged.

Theme C: Harmonious Relations

The theme, harmonious relations has application in significant family relationships in the Kim family. This theme relates mainly to several interrelated coding categories: a) disentangling in “Han” transformation process, b) internal dialogue, and c) self-reflective perspective-taking. This harmonious relations theme is divided into three domains: 1) self-disciplined relations, 2) affectionate relations, and 3) synchronous relations.

The harmonious relations theme evolved in the Kim family, slowly transforming their entangled relationships. This theme was associated with internal dialogue and disentangling in the “Han” transformation process. Mrs. Kim moved her focus from self-consideration to wanting her family to experience different things with her. First, the self-discipline domain developed as she considered the “middle-of-the-road” in the family relationship. The “middle-of-the road” was a term that was first emphasized in Korean families by the teaching of Confucius to refer to doing everything in moderation.

Primarily, the self-disciplined relation domain reflects the emphasis on moral training in the Korean family’s structural relationships. In Confucianism, self-discipline is known as the most solid foundation for becoming a great person. First, practice morality, or order one’s life, and then manage one’s family. It also refers to being moderate in order to maintain social harmony. So, when something goes too far, it is considered an inappropriate attitude or behavior, bringing about concern or a warning in the human relationship. People in the group collectively measure what is allowed or not. Mrs. Kim recognized her lack of self-discipline. She also was concerned with her husband’s lack of self-control in family relationships. She considered the issue of self-discipline in managing the family affairs, including child rearing, couple relations, and other relations with her in-laws. This has many implications in family relationship life. Becoming a good wife and a good parent means the ongoing process of discipline of self in relation to others. Couples should not fight with each other in front of their children; parents should restrain their emotional expression, both positive and negative, and parents should talk less and do more. These are all significant features that characterized the Kim family life as they evolved through harmonious relations.

Second, the affectionate relations domain included the most significant component of maternal affection associated with “Chung 정(情).” In terms of an ethnic-cultural specific language meaning, the concept of “Chung” is relevant for the understanding of the indigenous Korean “Shimjung” psychology. ‘Shimjung’ psychology is utilized as “an interpersonal schema to promote positive interpersonal relations, to provide empathy and sympathy to another person and to resolve interpersonal conflict” (Choi, 1994, p. 13). “Chung” is an essential component of the relational mode in Korea. It is associated with sacrifice, unconditionality, empathy, care, sincerity, shared experience, and common fate. “Chung” arises from a closely-knit family who spends a lot of time together and is bound by trust and common fate. “Chung” does not develop in a rational relationship. Someone without “Chung” is described as “being conditional, selfish, rational, apathetic, self-reliant, independent, and autonomous” (Choi, 1994, p. 33). Family communications are based on “Chung” rather than rationality. When Mrs. Kim’s child made a mistake, as a mother she critically appraised the situation and communicated her assessment to her child. She articulated the nature of the mistake, taught her child to make an alternative appropriate response, and hoped to prevent the same behavior from being repeated in the future. The client/mother tried to accept, embrace, forbear, or even overlook the mistake. The mother tried to understand from her child’s perspective and empathetically related her disappointment to the child. In contrast, in individualistic cultures, the rational approach is considered as the most constructive and desirable strategy of communication. For example, regarding a daughter’s letter, the client/mother stated she already had written the letter; but she just “forgot” to bring it with her. She believed she could remember the content without the letter she wrote, with a bright smile toward her and the therapist. After her daughter spoke about the content of the letter, Mrs. Kim commented that she “almost told what she wrote in the letter” with a satisfactory face. The emotional arousal served as a powerful force that encouraged her child to shape her own behavior. In addition, when her daughter was not able to recollect the content of the letter in the therapy session, Mrs. Kim assisted her in speaking more what she would want her daughter to be. In the relational mode, as a mother, Mrs. Kim spoke for her child, on behalf of her child rather than to the child (Choi, 1994). As a Korean mother, Mrs. Kim was very much aware of her children’s reality and did not dissociate herself from it. Yet children were not perceived as separate beings to interact, but were entities to discipline. Within a metaphor of marital relations, as one who comforts her son, Mrs. Kim comforted her husband to rescue her marriage. Mrs. Kim also demonstrated her compassion and affection toward her father-in-law and mother-in-law. From the indigenous Korean perspective of “Chung,” the reason why she didn’t leave the violent relationship which seems to be very abnormal and doesn’t make sense to Western professionals, has culturally relevant meaning for her decision to remain in it. From the Western perspective on why a battered woman stays, there are multiple characteristic reasons, including financial considerations and lack of job skills or other resources. Yet, for Mrs. Kim, these were not the reasons to remain in, or return to the relationship, but because of “Chung,” it was quite a different story. She felt that she could do anything to earn a living for herself. Usually, in many battered women cases, the offender threatens death of the victim or children and that will make the family even more concerned and fearful. But in the case of Mrs. Kim, her husband didn’t do anything similar and even continuously asked her for a divorce. She then tried to make him trust her, by saying, “I can’t divorce you and if you want, get started with the process, and I will sign the divorce document.”

Eventually and significantly, Mrs. Kim’s affectionate relationships with her father progressed toward forgiveness. She renewed her affection internally, which became the most sufficient source of all in her family relationships. This domain expanded to merge with the divine love of God, associated with the domain of spiritual leadership, in the theme of the spiritual relationship. Throughout therapy, an affectionate relationship increasingly dominated Mrs. Kim, as wife, mother, and daughter. It encompassed the compassionate and empathic connection with her husband, parents-in-law, and children, particularly the second daughter.

Lastly, the domain of synchronous relations illustrates how Mrs. Kim grew in sync with her family member’s rhythms. Particularly, as a mother, she learned that she expected too much of her children and expressed disapproval when the children failed to comply with her requests (such as housework assignments) or advice. Her unrealistic expectations of her children were partially associated with timing. She made the mistake of going along at her own pace and ignoring the child’s, and in doing so, ignored pace, the child’s rhythm. When it came to synchronous relations, she was running side-by-side with her family; in domination not encouraging them by saying, “Come on, you can do it” [gesturing motion]. She learned to adapt by being like a turtle. And she got there by being in synch with the family rhythms rather than forcing them to follow. This was achieved by going slower. Interestingly, it was her patience that was observed during the family interview. Patience usually means being tolerant; waiting until the other person has finished, so that one can say what she or he really wanted to say or believe is truth. She was letting the family members speak up in their manners. She was not indifferent. She was genuinely immersed in and participating in what another person deemed important. She resonated with T. Anderson’s (1990) philosophy, “Life is not something you can force, and it has to come.”

Theme D: Spiritual Relations

The theme of spiritual relations is the most empowering source in the Korean client’s family. This theme relates to several coding categories, particularly, the conventional Christian domain related to monologue and single perspective-taking. Retribution and spiritual leadership relations are related to mind emptying in the “Han” transformation process, dialogue, and mutual perspective-taking. The theme of spiritual relations is divided into three domains: 1) normal Christian relations (judgment/punishment over love), 2) retribution (“Ob-bo”), and 3) spiritual leadership relations or mutually fulfilled relations (love over judgment/punishment).

The theme of spiritual relations is a search for deeper meaning, purpose, and morality in the family life. This spiritual relation is not a denial or abandonment of the self. Rather, it is a transcendence or master and fulfillment of the self in communion with other beings and the Ground of Being, that is, the ultimate and sacred being or reality, someone Mrs. Kim called God (Robbins, Canda, & Chatterjee, 1996).

Confucianism, Buddhism and Christianity have strongly influenced spiritual faith and the belief systems for Korean people. For Mrs. Kim, this theme unfolded and was associated mainly with two major spiritual backgrounds: Christianity and Buddhism. Christian spiritual truth was more of a strong foundation for her moral decision-making in vital life situations, including child discipline and marital relationships, and relationships with significant others, such as parents, parents-in-law, and neighbors. It was linked with both old and new biblical scriptures. The former occurred more frequently in the first session, while the latter evolved in later sessions of 6 and 12 as she transformed to attain a new beginning in her family relationships.

First, in the domain of normal Christian relations, the client/mother told the stories of religion literally and believed simplistically in the power of symbols. In religious context, the client cited reciprocity: God sees to it that those who follow his laws are rewarded and that those who do not are punished. This domain was mainly coined by the Old Testament biblical text. Judgment and punishment prevailed over love in the family relations, marital relations and parent-child relations. This appeared dominantly evident during the time of sessions 1 and 6 while she became less judgmental. During this time, she struggled considerably with the direction she wanted to take when she finally started having a family. And yet, she chose relational hope, living by faith in God, rather than a faith in herself. She laid her burdens down at God’s feet and cast any of her cares aside. Her pain eased and vanished. For Mrs. Kim, this was a healing experience of deeper confrontation with her emotional sufferings. This made it possible to transcend her awareness by invalidating the usual sense of self-identity and societal view (Robbins, Canda, & Chatterjee, 1996) in the midst of oppressive social circumstances such as in-laws’ exploitive/harsh treatment and other detrimental life conditions, including poverty.

Next, retribution (“Ob-bo”) is indicative of the development of faith as well. “Ob-Bo” is a term that was first coined by the teaching of Buddhism in dealing with a current existing suffering relationship with self to refer to retribution for the deeds of a former life—a Karma effect. Mrs. Kim demonstrated how she attempted to resolve the marital dissatisfaction by thinking through the way of “Ob-Bo” as part of her self-transformation. She believed that the suffering relationship with her husband existed due to retribution for the deeds of her previous life (“Ob-bo”).

In contrast, Christian spiritual leadership is coined by a new testament biblical text. It seemed clear that love relationships came to triumph over judgment/punishment relations. It is therefore characterized by intellectual detachment from the values of the culture and from the approval of significant other people. The client’s ability to articulate her own values, distinct from those of family such as her husband and mother-in-law, makes her faith an individual-reflective faith. It incorporated both powerful, unconscious ideas (such as the power of prayer and the love of God) and rational, conscious values (such as the worth of life compared with that of property). The client/mother in this domain had a powerful vision of universal compassion, justice, and love that compelled her to live her life in accordance.

Spiritual leadership relations in the Korean family remains in force to provide strength. Divine love of God was key to her Christian life in family relationships that she continued to long for in her life. She found that it was the most effective way to go against recurring mental problems from her past life. Knowing and seeing God through love was key to following all of God’s moral laws for Mrs. Kim; God’s love was the basis for her self-worth; God’s love could change life’s outcome. Because she loved God, she could also love her family. This was the victory that overcame the difficulties in her life. She resolved to build her family upon divine love of God.

Over time, she transitioned from an immature Christian to a more mature, consummate one who took the will of God and made it a practice to love one another. For Mrs. Kim, love came in the form of deed and truth, such as self-love and commitment to demonstrating it in her family relationships, not in word or in tongue, such as feelings and talking of love. Her restrictions, particularly to her children, were motivated by love, not by punishment and judgment. Love shed light on her family relationships again. She got on a better path with the “word of God” and love of God. Her past cast a shadow of the cold distance in her parental relationships and turned the future into something brighter. Then she was able to look ahead optimistically toward the future. She made the transition from an inadequate mode of existence to a better one.

This domain gradually evolved during sessions 6 and 12, and it deepened. By session 12, Mrs. Kim began to bless God with heartful thanks. She demonstrated her spiritual awakening, by maturity as a prayer warrior, by session 6. The contrast was so striking that it seemed that she took a step forward to be consistent with the image of God, and in His divine love. For the simple believer, there was only a sobering portrayal of judgment. For the spiritual leadership relations, there were the faithful that would include a glorious picture of rich rewards, sufficient meanings and purpose for her own life in the world. Surprisingly enough, she made a connection between the past, the present, and the future in a very consistent way providing meanings to her experiences.

Spiritual leadership relations also correspond to “belief over worry” situations. God’s comfort and courage kept her free of constant worries in her married life. This spiritual maturity also corresponds to the way she used to choose to walk like her mother: This walk changed her life from a gloomy view to one of peace, hope, and comfort. God’s love became her strength, which was once lost during moments when she was surrounded by difficult situations and overshadowed with despair, anger, and violence. The love of God is the equally sufficient everlasting component to the maternal affection (“Chung”), which is embedded, in Korean cultural strength. Both were able to draw her into growth and maturity. She needed the love of God as much as the love from her mother role. It became evident that, by doing the will of God, not her own will, Mrs. Kim changed her perspective from wanting her children to obey from a place of fear during sessions 1 and 6, to a place of love by session 12. She appeared to stand upon solid ground. For the client, spiritual relation seemed to progress from a quite simple, self-centered, one-sided perspective to a more complex, altruistic, and multisided view during sessions 1, 6, and 12. As a key member in the family, Mrs. Kim, radically redefined her life after a particular experience in therapy produced a new understanding of human family community.

In summary, as Mrs. Kim continued to explore and disclose themes important to her, it became clear that she experienced a more positive sense of family relationships.

Parent Coercive (Child Aversive) Behavior Change

This section presents the results of the analysis of parent (mother) coercive (child aversive) behavior change during sessions 1, 6, and 12. Understanding the significance of parental coercive (child aversive) behavior change is essential in order to understand the positive relationship between parent and child related to the core issue of physical child abuse in this study. Six major themes include: corporal punishment (Theme 1), threat (Theme 2), disapproval (Theme 3), negative demand (Theme 4), repeated command (Theme 5), and paralyzed affection (Theme 6).

Table 5 shows the summary of the results of the analysis of the quality of change in the mother’s coercive (daughter’s aversive) behavior throughout sessions 1, 6, and 12. The reason for including the child’s aversive behavior is that the child may influence parental behavioral patterns as much as her parent influenced her. The sample narratives (direct quotes from the data) are presented.

In summary, the changes were noted during sessions of 1, 6, and 12. This study suggests that, in general, parental cohesive behavior (child aversive behavior) changed along the following directions: weakening of corporal punishment, punitive statement, disapproval, negative demand, repeated commands, weakening of paralyzed affection, and emergence of full affection. These changes indicate a decrease in the mother’s coercive (daughter’s aversive) behavior as a result from therapy. The mother/client learned to make use of the positive affections or affirmations (e.g., praise, support, and gentle physical touching).

Dialogical Speech Development

Five dialogical speech development levels are presented, along with a continuum of coding systems. The coding categories are developed in the integration of Seikkula’s (1993, 1995) model for language development, including social speech, egocentric speech, and inner speech, and H. Anderson’s (1997) clinical theory of dialogical conversation, including monologue and dialogue. The coded categories indicate dimensions of dialogical speech development and entail five interrelated, simultaneous, overlapping, chronological, sequential components: 1) monologic speech, 2) social speech, 3) private speech, 4) internal dialogue, and 5) external dialogue. The following presentation encompasses the table and narrative samples of sessions 1, 6, and 12.

The analytical results of the dialogical speech development process are presented in Table 6. The mother, a core client in the Kim family, appeared to make great progress along the dimensions of dialogical speech development levels coded in the transcripts of sessions 1, 6, and 12, as seen in Table 1. The scores on the mother’s dialogical speech development are noted with the percentage of each speech development category.

The mother’s monologic speech was showing very strong signs of a sharp decrease in the amount of threatening speech in the narrative during the sessions 1, 6, and 12. This decrease was 40.6%, from 57.8% to 17.2%, between sessions 1 and 6. And, at session 12, monologic speech became 0%. With regard to social speech, the mother fell from 34.3% to 28.3% between sessions 1 and 6. And, at session 12, social speech became 0%. Regarding private speech, the table showed very strong signs of increase in the amount of private speech in the narrative between sessions 1 and 6. That increase jumped 28%, from 7.9% to 35.9%. In contrast, the table showed this decreasing at session 12 to 12%, from 35.9% in session 6.

In respect to internal dialogue, the table showed the greatest increase in the amount of internal dialogue in the narrative during therapy sessions 1, 6, and 12. Those increases were 18.6% in the sixth session from 0% in the first session, and 43.4%, from 18.6% to 62%, between sessions 6 and 12.

Finally, with regards to external dialogue, the table also showed very strong signs of increase in the amount of external dialogue in the narrative between sessions 6 and 12, while there was no sign of change in the amount of external dialogue between sessions 1 and 6.

Discussions and Summary

The development of higher speech levels has a creative and recursive nature. It appeared on the inter-psychological plane before it appeared on the intra-psychological plane. In the case of Mrs. Kim presented here, it appeared to move to higher consciousness from monologue through social speech to dialogue.

The dialogic speech development provides us with understanding of how the dialogic nature of the client’s narrative actually works to change the meanings of family relationships and impacts related actions. Mrs. Kim’s case, in this study, provided a good example of how the back- and-forth process of multiple voicing generated a change in her perception of self and others. From my point of view, Mrs. Kim entered therapy with monologue-fixed and single-voiced narratives about her relationship with her husband, children, parents-in-law, and her mother’s relationship with her father:

“I had to do everything alone; no one helped me.” And “My husband is so dependent on me; like my husband, my second child relies on her older sister who helps her very well” she adds, “The first daughter helped the second child who is so lazy that she got beaten.” Then, “She deserved to get beaten.”

At the social speech level, following conversation with the therapist—social speech—Mrs. Kim constructed a dialogue between herself as an unloved child/daughter/in-law-wife and her imagined voice of the lovers such as the God and the Mother. At the private speech level, with emphasis on thinking, several new descriptions emerged. The voice of the friend is also the client, Mrs. Kim—leaving home to make a better living alone; an observation about her parents sitting together in her brother’s wedding; and a very shaky new idea of herself as a victim of parental failure and later emerging as a possible resource to her husband, her children, and her parents-in-law, particularly her father-in-law. The reflecting therapist commented on the story, adding another voice, offering an idea for another story replying, “Rescue yourself?”

Once this internal dialogue with its new voices was ready for conversation with others, those others were evoked, empathically imagined, so that those of the client as a writer or speaker were “heard,” taken in, understood, and responded to. To that end, both the mother and the second daughter wrote letters: the mother to her own mother and the daughter to her unborn baby. Particularly, the writing, added to the conversation in session 12, promoted an internal dialogue in Mrs. Kim by adding more voices and a new narrative potential. As Mrs. Kim wrote and read aloud a significant memory about herself and her mother, there were already four voices present: Mrs. Kim the writer, Mrs. Kim the reader, Mrs. Kim in the memoir, and the voice of her mother in the memoir. In addition, as the daughter wrote and spoke aloud about her unborn baby, three events occurred: the mother and father change their understanding of their daughter, their understanding of each other, and the mother and daughter discovered the increased possibilities of the mother-daughter relationships. Mrs. Kim presented a dilemma around how much help to offer her daughter: the mother either totally withdrew her support or she offered so much that she paralyzed her daughter. The sessions revealed that Mrs. Kim’s father was always absent from home and liked alcohol, which had positioned her to rescue everybody: her mother and her siblings, her husband and her children. The wish to rescue/mother everybody was this woman’s way of saying, “I wished to be rescued and mothered.” This behavior confused the daughter: Should she be independent or continue to be rescued?

Table 5: Quality of Change in Mother’s Coercive (Daughter’s Aversive) Behavior

The two letters were read aloud at session 12. When the mother read her own letter first she was calm, experiencing herself for the time as the one who longed to be rescued. The experience of her vulnerability deeply moved her husband and her daughters, who also were calm. When the daughter spoke her letter to her unborn baby, the parents were moved by her commitment to stand by her child. These women’s ideas, now existing alongside one another, created an emotional charge that changed the whole family’s stereotypical ideas of mother-daughter relationships. These relationships could now include longing, vulnerability, and tenderness, as well as rage and disappointment. Reading the letters aloud held these voices and ideas in tension, which increased possibilities for new narratives in the family: “Giving gratitude/thanks,” “Love each other in the family,” “Be in harmony in love together,” “I need your help/rescue me,” “Share the responsibility together.”

Finally, at the external dialogue stage, these new internal voices changed the dialogue with other family members and the relationships with them in more positive ways. It was found that newly discovered voices were strengthened when they were expanded in writing the letters and sharing with others. The letters acted as representatives of the family’s inner dialogues, and when they were heard, and witnessed by relevant others, the emotional life of all participants changed (Penn & Frankfurt, 1994). Mrs. Kim was able to take advantage of the family conversation to expand new family stories.

In summary, “the true direction of the development of higher dialogical self is not from the individual to the social, but from the social to the individual” (Vygotsky, 1962, p. 20).

Table 6: Quality of Change in Mother’s Dialogic Speech Development

Table 7: Quality of Therapist Dialogical-Relational Process

Han, clinical, multicultural, relation

공유(greatcorea)

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